HOW TO KEEP THE ROMANCE ALIVE AFTER MARRIAGE AND KIDS

What did everyone do for Valentine’s day this week?

Covid days are slowly coming to an end in Japan and people are celebrating more than ever. But Covid or Post Covid, as a mom of a 3-year-old daughter, it can be challenging to find the time and energy to keep the romance alive in my marriage. 

With a little one at home, it’s easy to get caught up in the daily routine of feeding, changing, getting them ready for school, dinner prep, bathing, bedtime, and entertaining them + working + looking after the home in between. But, I’ve found that it’s worth making an effort to look after my relationship with my husband.

Here are a few tips for keeping the spark alive in your marriage:

1. Plan a date.
   One of the ways that I’ve been able to keep the romance alive is by planning brunch/lunch dates. Our evenings are a bit more inflexible but he and I have a brunch date twice a month where we drop our daughter off to kinder and go out to a cafe or a movie. It’s a small thing, but it gives us a chance to reconnect and focus on each other.
2. Communicate openly and honestly.
   I also make sure to communicate openly and honestly with my husband. (Perhaps it’s not just my effort but because I can’t stay quiet! Haha) We set aside time each week to discuss our feelings, hopes, and dreams. It helps us to understand each other better and to keep our relationship strong. Ask questions like you’re on your first date again. I always intentionally ask him something like “How is your business going?” “How are your friends doing?” “What’s your oldest memory with your family?” “What is your favorite fruit?”(I only asked him this last week after being married to him for 7 years!) “What is your valentine’s day fantasy?”

   

3. Show appreciation.
    It’s easy to take your partner for granted after being together for a while, but it’s essential to ensure that they know you appreciate them. Show them that you care by doing small things like leaving them a love note or buying them a small gift. Tonight we didn’t have a physical gift but we went around the table and spoke about what quality we appreciate in one another.
4. Dress up and take care of yourself
   As a busy working mom, it can be easy to let taking care of myself slide, but I make sure to take care of myself physically and emotionally. I dress up and look good for my husband, and he appreciates it!
5. Buy new lingerie.
   Buying new lingerie is a great way to spice things up in the bedroom. It can be fun to try new styles and colors together and it will help to keep the passion alive.
6. Cafe hopping.
   I always try to find time for us to go out and explore new places together, even if it’s just a simple cafe hopping. It’s a great way to spend quality time together, relax, and enjoy a good coffee.

   Being a mom+wife+working is challenging but with a little effort, patience, and creativity, you can keep the romance alive and well in your marriage. Happy romancing!!